Sunday, August 22, 2004
I just don't know anymore.
This is early Sunday morning. My sister left yesterday. I was glad she came over. After she left, I got so sick. I haven't been this sick in a long time. I could barely make it to the bathroom. It's no fun being sick when you can hardly walk. I vomited and had other non mentionables very bad. I was weak before, but got so much more weaker, I basically was dragging myself with my walker. My legs just would not work for me. When you get sick, you get weak, and then on top of an already weak person, it was pure hell to walk. I was going to get my wheelchair out. I was that bad. But then I thought that my husband could help me, and he did. Because afterwards, I just layed down, and fell asleep for a few hours. I'm tired of having this cold/flu thing. It's really getting the best of me, and I hardly had any of that left! I had the shakes already before I got sick. What a combination. My shoulders, lower back, hips, and my legs were also hurting before, as well. This is the first time for me to be in such a state, with the way I am now. I don't know what I would have done by my self. It's scary to think about. Afterwards, I was trying to walk to my living room. I was hurting so bad in my legs, lower back, and my hips that it made me cry. By the time I got seated, everything that was hurting was throbbing. My back, and hips, and my legs. The pain was getting so unbareable. I just sat there, because I wasn't able to walk on my own. My husband helped me to bed last night. I was glad. This morning, when I got up, I was able to go to the bathroom on my own. I still don't feel all that well yet. I have nothing planned for today, except for sleeping! I've got to get rid of this! My husband and I were talking about my car, last night. He wanted to know if my son could have it. I told him no, because I feel if I don't have something to work towards, what do I have then? I have to work on my self to fight this fibromyalgia! If thats taken from me, I don't know what I could work towards. I'm trying my hardest not to give up. I can't have my things taken away from me. They're mine to work towards. Oh well. I got an emali this morning from my daughter letting me know that her and her botfriends mom did go to that festival together. :o( I knew it. She had told me that she was going to come here for a visit. But then she couldn't come up. I guess it could be because her boyfriends mom can walk, and I can't. :o( They can go more places together. It would be nice if my daughter came back to live here again. Then I wouldn't be alone during the day. I don't blame her for wanting to have fun with someone that can walk on their own. But I can blame her for NOT wanting to come up here! And I do! I can't type anymore. Bye.