Sunday, August 22, 2004
I can't believe it's still today!
I can't believe that it's still today! This has been such a long day! Geesh! I did all of my morning things that I need to do. I ate lunch, unless it was brunch! I wasn't at all feeling good. So I layed down for a nap. I woke up with my stomach hurting. I tried to lay in different positions to make it feel better, but no luck. So, I just got up. I was hoping that the nap would help make me feel a little bit better, but it didn't. My husband made homemade barb-b-q pork. It really smells good! But I'm half afraid to eat. He's been doing great with the cooking for me! I really appreciate it. :o) Thats a lot of the reasons why I like the weekends. I know he will be here, and he helps me. I'm not scared when he's here. Just scared on the week days. My hips and legs are still killing me! The pain has gone up to my lower back! It really hurts badly to try to walk. I have to take little baby steps. So, I am staying in only one place for now. :o( It's taking a lot of patients for this. I just want to scream! Why God? Why is this happening? I know He hears mine, and everyones elses prayers. But I also know He has His plans for me. I also know that my time and His time are different. I just would like to have one day of "normal." I know thats a lot to ask for. I would run first, then go hiking, then dance! :o) I can do all of those things in my dreams. :o( Oh well. I need to stop talking about it. This is my life, as it will be. There are days that I wonder what I did in my life so wrong that I'm being punished some how. Or, I should look at it as, maybe this will help someone else. I hope so. I'm getting worse every day. I can feel it, and see the difference. My legs are not the same looking. My lower part of my left leg, looks as if it is bending outwards. My right lower leg is doing the samething as well. Everything always starts with my left side. I don't know why. Oh well. I think I need to go now.