Please keep praying for me/video's

I'm still up and awake. Tonight was another night from hell! I was once again, verbally attcked!
It all started because of my left foot! I was in my bed watching tv and he came in and sat down to watch with me. He had noticed that my left foot was swollen! My ankle and the top and outer side....does really hurt! I had asked him if he could feel the top of my foot to see if he could feel if it is broken or not. He did. He said what it feels like is possibly a pull legamint or something like that. And when he was touching my foot....it about made me fly off the bed! So, I put the bottom of my bed up all the way to try and get the swelling down. HE told me that I should go to the er to get checked. He said that he would take me. I said, "Ok." I start to get ready and he had went to the bathroom and came back in and sat down and all hell broke lose! He told me how he hates going to the er and that his blood pressure felt high because HE didn't want to go! What? So I told him that he didn't have to go, because I could either drive myself or push my button for the ers. That did it! He just started in on me about what ever is/was going on! None of it made any sense to me at all! Where was this coming from? He had me so upset and hurt so bad, I just went in my bathroom and shut the door and cried. I was in there crying for a half hour. Then he came in and told me to stop being hysterical! I couldn't stop crying because he just kept on and on with everything all over again. I came back in here and got in my hospital bed. Here he came and sat down and kept going on and on still! Then he asked me if there was anything that I wanted to talk about. I said yes. I told him to stop taking everything out on me if he has a bad day! Well....that didn't go over very well! I just got more from him! And no matter what....HE'S always right and I'm always wrong! Then after that, he brought up the er again! I told him that I'll go tomorrow so he doesn't have to go! He liked that idea! :o(  I also asked him if he was just overwhelmed with me and taking care of me. He said no!
Everything that came out of his mouth was nothing but mean and very hateful things about me and how everything is my fault! I asked him if I could talk to him again, and he said yes. I asked him why did everything just erupted so badly just because he didn't want to go to the er?! Again...he yelled at me and said to stop bringing that up because he said that I had brought that up 5 other times! What? No I didn't! Then he got up and left my room! I am in so much pain right now, it's just unbelievable! I still don't know what happened within maybe 10 minutes and going to the er for my foot! I was still crying and I just couldn't stop. I was really taken back! I just can't take it anymore! And I'm as serious as a heart attack! It was time for a pain pill.....and I was so close to just take the whole bottle of them and just lay down and go to sleep so I won't be in anymore pain ever again! I still might! I can't take anymore!
I put a tape in to watch....hoping it would make me stop crying. I took 2 video's.
I just need to ask this...like I said, he told me straight out that he isn't overwhelmed with me and that I'm not a burden to/on him in any way. But when he has a bad day at work....why is it that he comes in and verbally attacks me?! He even admitted that he does do it! I just don't get it!
Here's the video's. The older man in the one video is my grandpa! He has passed, but I still have him on tape.

 

 

Lisa

 

 

Tags: I hope I can get through the rest of the night, taking all my pills! later!