Saturday, October 27, 2007

This really scared me!

.....Just to let you know, nothing in this journal's entry is toward anyone in specific, I use it to write my feelings, and about my illnesess, and in hopes it might help someone else as I do.I do not pretend nor imatate to be someone I'm not.I have to be careful, apparently someone are way too obsessed with 'my' life. And if you might take an entry wrong and feel that it is about you, I'm sorry but It isn't, it just may seem to coincide with your own life. And if there is something in what I write that "offends" you, options; don't read, or realize that this IS real life, and get out of your plastic bubble and learn more about it! I also know that what I write in MY journal, that NOT everyone will agree with me and I don't expect them to! God bless you!......


 



Good morning! I'm hoping that all of you are feeling and doing good today!


Yesterday, I had an appointment to get an MRI done again. I remembered that much. I have everything in details right here with me at all times, so I don't forget. On my calander and on post it notes.
I also knew that it was at 4:00 as well. So, I wasn't in a hurry when my mom had come to take me.
She even said to me, "You're not ready yet?" No...I had plenty of time. I thought that she just came over early. I put my last entry in, and then I went to get dressed. Then I got all my things together that I needed to take with me. We got in her van and when she turned right, instead of left to go to the hospital, I asked her, "Where are we going." She said to get your MRI! I said this way, I thought it was at the hospital! No....it was at the Kettering hospital!!! What? Thats about an hour to get there!
I think we had 40-45 minutes to get there on time! But, when she told me that we had to go to Kettering (which at some point I did know this and have it written down) I felt as if I was totally losing it! I've never ever had this kind of a feeling before! I started to feel panicy and a bit scared! I've never actually just totally and absolutly forgot anything like I did this time! It was like it was completely erased from my mind! Even when I tried hard to remember, I couldn't pull it up, it was gone! I felt like crying. I felt like screaming. I had all of these emotions just going through me so fast. Itoverwhelmed me! And nothing my mom said could calm me down or make me feel better. I couldn't remember anything!
I SO want to know what is wrong with me? The dizziness and now forgetting totally!? Whats up with this?
I got my breathing back to normal and I kept apoligizing to my mom about it. Of course, she was understanding.


So, needless to say...we were late. But I was still able to get the MRI's done. Whew! I'm hoping that something shows up on those MRI's! I was still pretty dizzy when I went in, just hoping something will show up as to why that has been going on too! Especailly me forgetting this whole thing! And it is hard to describe all of what I felt!
It makes me wonder if it will happen again, and where I'll be when it does! So many things have been running through my head about this! Do I let my nurse know? I have no idea.
We got home around 7:30. And my daughter and grandson were here. Of course, that cheered me up. Seeing my grandson playing basket ball was sooo cute! I don't know why but, whenever he wants to play basket ball, he needs to take his shirt off! lol Just too cute! We had Chinese for supper, and I needed to just stay in bed because I was/am still too dizzy. I have a bed tray that I use. He had to sit next to mawmaw and eat too! ;o) He's such a loving and big hearted little boy! So, we ate together in mawmaw's bed! :o)


I got up at 3:00 this morning because I just couldn't sleep. Thats 4 hours, so thats not too bad.
The forgetting thing just really boggles my mind! I've looked on my calander and all around my desk and yep, I had it written down everywhere! So why then did I have no clue? Honestly, this is scaring me! Too many goofy things happening to me lately. And, in too short of time, in my book!


I'm going to go. I might try and go back to sleep. I hope I can.
Thank you for all of your comments and your nice words! I appreciate it! :o) God bless all of you!


Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much!


 


23 comments:

jeadie05 said...

Dont beat your self up ,it could just be one of those things, I forget the daftest things sometimes lol ...love Jan xx

my78novata said...

some of your meds may be causeing this . you take so many and I know you hav e to but maybe the drs need to gettoegether on what they are giving you and see if the mixing of some are cuasing your problems

memedecarlis said...

h

sugarsweet056 said...

Hope the MRI tells why you're being dizzy, maybe it's just a little something. {{}}
Have a good wkend.
Smooches,
Sugar

pharmolo said...

Hope the MRI gives some answers, good or otherwise, Lisa. It must be frightening to completely forget something. Have a good weekend.

nightmaremom said...

hope you get some answers
hugs
d

malagutigrrl said...

First of all you should tell your nurse everything.  The more info the better.  Secondly, this is a lot of what I'm going through now.  I lose big chunks of time.  Not long ago stuff, but recent stuff.  Like stuff that happened this week.  I also have no idea what time of day it is usually or even what day of the week it is.  Notes help some but... LOL... ONLY IF I REMEMBER TO LOOK AT THEM.  Freaked me out at first, too.  Getting more used to it now.  Hopefully, your MRI will give the doctors the kind of info they need to help with that.  In the meantime I do brain exercises... I play Suduko and also play Mah Jongg (since my cognitive tests showed I have problems with visual stuff).  Try to get some rest and relax, darlin.  I know it's hard but freaking out makes it even worse.  
In the meantime, Love you up there in Ohio...
MJ

lisa41076 said...

Awww Lisa I hope the MRI can answer your question about the dizziness, I think you should let your nurse know, praying for you, Love You Lisa XO

ajquinn354 said...

Lisa, do tell your nurse what you experienced when getting ready to go for your MRI, how can she help you if you aren't upfront about everything. Hopefully the MRI results will help clarify what is going on and they can help you with all the dizzyness, forgetfulness, etc.  Know this has to be a scary time with all the various things going on for you, hopefully you'll get answers and what steps or directions  they will try  and it helps. Hope you have a good weekend. Arlene (AJ)  

imgr8phil said...

It's obvious you need to rely on others to help you remember important appointments.  Glad you made it on time and hopefully they will be able to find something so they can help you.

Phil

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((LISA))))))))))))))))))))I hope you get everything all worked out,I hope the something shows up on the Mri,Have a nice day.

lattedah711 said...

Trick or Treat!  Stop by and say BOO!
http://journals.aol.com/lattedah711/lattedah/entries/2007/10/27/trick-or-treat-thru-j-land/1092      Tracy

cuteallison1980 said...

I have no doubt that your little grandson cheered you up.  He is such a cutie!  I'm happy to hear you made it to be able to take that MRI.  Now if only they can help you more.  Hope you have a good weekend girlie girl.  ; )

Allison

geocachelinda66 said...

You know what, just write it off as a brain-fart.  Happens to me all the time!  Linda

cherry2sweet2eat said...

your not crazy or losing it sometimes people forget their brain is so swamped with the small details they forget the most important ones.

heavenlybama said...

I can only imagine how scared you are.  You're not crazy.  There are different types and stages of MS.  Dizziness and forgetfulness are 2 of the symptoms.  Sounds like you are having a bad flare-up or it is progressing fast which needs to be addressed by your dr. when he gets the MRI results.  As always, you know I'm praying for ya Lisa.
Hugs,
D

buggieboo1 said...

just stoppin by to say HI!

Tick or treat! Stop by my place!
~Happy Halloween!~

         Sharon
http://journals.aol.com/buggieboo1/ImASurvivor/entries/2007/10/27/trick-or-treat-thru-j-land/2835

siennastarr said...

h

queeniemart said...

did you have a panic attack? I can only imagine how scary it was. You are always in my prayers!
love,lisa

winivere2002 said...

It's time for J-Land TRICKS OR TREATS!!!!!! Come get your treat at The Glass Box!
http://journals.aol.com/winivere2002/TheGlassBox/entries/2007/10/27/trick-or-treats/1902

mcknansmom said...

that would really scare me too! I used to have an amazing memory but not anymore and it does concern me.  However, I haven't had anything like happen.  
I hope you get some answers and some sleep!
take care
tina
http://journals.aol.com/mcknansmom/steelmags

gehi6 said...

I know this forgetting is scary to you but at my age, if I get mentally fatigued, like if I have done alot of writing or don't sleep well I will think of someone and willnot be able to think of their names for anything, but as soon as I am more rested the name will come back to me.  So I believe that alot of forgetting is just mental fatigue.  Our brain fatigue and permenent forgetting is going a little further with perhaps parts of the brain not regaining normal functioning with a stroke or a disease.  I remember during the years when my son Raymond was so stressed out in high school and was having attacks of tachycardia (fast heartbeat) I would notice that one of his pupils would be dilated.  This was very alarming to me. They even gave him an encephegram (brain test) based on my alarm and observation, but it did not show anything, and when he finally quit drugs and alcohol when he became very active in a church, I did not notice this symptom, so I felt that drugs were doing this to him.  If ordinary street drugs could cause dilation it is possible one of your drug medications could cause that symptom too. I remember looking at his eyes for years to see if there was any dilation. I donot think it abnormal considering your fears and worries for you to have completely forgotten that you were going to Kettering.  Gerry  

wwfbison said...

You are right, this is scary stuff.  I am Praying for the best for you Lisa.
Lisa
http://journals.aol.com/wwfbison/life-on-a-bison-farm